How to make decisions

This past year, and on this blog, you will see videos and comments on Tony Robbins, Life Stategist.

I decided to share how one of his life strategies has worked (or is working for) me.

For instance: If one of children failed to succeed in some area; or suffered some pain or loss-even as adults--I didn't think it was my fault, I knew it was my fault, or something I lacked in giving them as they're growing up. Unwittingly, I trained them to also blame me and everyone around me I did the same. Why? My biological parents, especially my biological father, would torture one of my younger siblings and tell them that I could stop the pain if I would just willingly do whatever "dear old dad" wanted me to do. The end result: the pain stopped for the younger child (see I could stop the pain), and I was the cause of the pain. My father eventually served hard prison time--and unknowingly, I blamed myself for that as well--for awhile.

Somewhere I learned this in my mind, but it didn't make it down the fifteen inches to my heart. Then came Tony Robbins' Change your Story-Change your life. I watched it and took notes several times. Then I had to practice. Plus, I made it a ritual to watch something or read something up-building everyday--which often meant listening to Tony Robbins on YouTube.

So before I blame myself for something, I do this:
I ask myself what is my focus? Usually, that meant my focus was on myself or the past.
Next question: What is the meaning  of what happened or what was happening? I was re-visiting the past. I needed to get up and do something to change my emotion (motion changes e-motion) and it was more familiar to ruminate. Was God punishing me?  God is a God of love and every perfect gift was from above--no I was punishing myself. I was suffering horrible pain and my biological father was no where around! I had to convince myself that living in the past was illogical, and not only that, it was impossible. No human can go back in the past for even ten minutes. The only logical thing to do was to focus on the present and preparing a good future while I was suffering and the suffering began to subside and then stop. I still trip up, but I have tools to get out of the muck and get to the happy times which are happening while anyone suffers--it's whether we notice the opportunity for a happy time and  participate instead of clinging to the familiar past.  Then the last question, What can I do about what I am thinking about and suffering unbelievable pain and regret? If what I am thinking about is an event from the past; I can do nothing, nothing by thinking and "living in the past". So motion to change emotion. I get up and do something that is productive or enjoyable. Again, I still slip up sometimes--but I don't live in that suffering and in the past. I can pull myself out if I want to.

Last thing, Tony Robbins gave an illustration about resentment: It's like drinking a little water with strychnine and hoping your enemy will die. 
 That's all I have to say today--Except that freeing up all that ime, has allowed me to have time to write, and do things I enjoy. Peace! Please share or comment!